Legal department (sincere)
Terms of service.
Plain language, because the rest of the site is honest too.
What this is
topfounder.lol is a satirical entertainment product. It is a leaderboard where the ranking is determined by how much each participant has paid. It is not an assessment of anyone's ability, character, or company, and it should not be cited in a fundraising deck, although we cannot stop you.
What you are buying
Payments are fees for digital placement on the leaderboard. Your rank equals the lifetime sum of your payments, recalculated continuously. That placement — plus a profile page and an embeddable badge — is the entire product. No goods ship. No services render. No investors call.
Payments are non-refundable
All payments are final and non-refundable, including when you are outranked, dethroned, embarrassed, acquired, or experiencing regret. The minimum payment is $1, in whole dollars. Payments are processed by Polar, our merchant of record.
Your content
You are responsible for the name, bio, photo, and link you submit. We may remove, hide, or edit any content that is offensive, unlawful, impersonates someone, or that we simply do not want on the site — without notice and without refund. Removal from the leaderboard does not entitle you to anything, which is consistent with the rest of the product.
Being dethroned
When another participant's lifetime total exceeds yours, your rank changes immediately. If you held the No. 1 position, this event will be announced site-wide and recorded permanently in the Hall of Former Top Founders. This is a feature.
No warranties
The service is provided as-is. We do not warrant uninterrupted availability, eternal glory, or that anyone will be impressed. Liability is limited to the maximum extent permitted by law, which in our case is also the minimum extent we could type.
Changes
We may update these terms, introduce seasonal leaderboards, or change how the site works. Material changes will be posted here. Continued payment constitutes continued enthusiasm.